What's your number?
Hey everyone 👋🏻
Life seems to have been ridiculous over the past few weeks. Work has gotten busier, things in my personal life seem to be running at 4000 revs at the moment, and I’m rarely getting time to pursue my passions of photography and music.
On the plus side, I’ve been building a digital music library, having now reached the age when I think I really ought to actually own the digital things I ‘buy’, rather than essentially renting them (only for them to be removed by the various platforms at their whim - that’s a different story!). I love music, and I love the fact that I’m creating a streaming service from music that I actually own. I appreciate immediately, that this is a very nerdy thing to do, the beauty and importance of which will be appreciated by very few people reading this. That’s ok, our mileage varies!
Just know that I’m right 😉
When I look back over the past few weeks, I can see how events and circumstances have stolen precious time from me. I can all-too-easily get sucked into whirlpool of activity. I can become busy for the sake of being busy, or rushing to get things done, deemed important by other people, not myself. And yet I rush to get them done and, in the process, rob myself of the much needed time and peace my mental health so desperately requires. Before I know it, weeks have passed and I begin to wonder why I’m either tired, or emotional, or have forgotten some important piece of information.
I really should know better. I’m a vice-captain for a national mens mental health charity, called ‘Talk Club’. This is some of the blurb from their website:
Talk Club is a UK male mental health charity helping men to improve their mental health.
We prefer to call it mental fitness because our talking groups actively help men to understand how they’re feeling by asking **‘How are you? Out of 10?’** then explaining why. It helps to build resilience, and the numbers prove it.
On average, **a TC talk and listen group raises a man’s mental fitness by over 15%.**
It’s why local pubs to global corporates, and 18 to 80+ year olds across the world, are now using Talk Club.
Here’s the link to the website, if you’re interested! → Talk Club
Talk Club is fascinating, and incredibly important. I love it. Each week, groups of men, from all walks of life, come together in small groups and go through 4 rounds of discussion. It takes about an hour
Round 1 - How are you, out of 10? 1 being the worst you’ve probably felt, and 10 being the best. What’s your number this week?
Round 2 - What is going well right now? What is good in your life?
Round 3 - What are you doing to improve your mental health? What are you doing for YOU right now?
Round 4 - Having listened to all the blokes, what’s your number out of 10 now?
It’s an incredibly simple setup, but so so effective. You can almost guarantee that the numbers are higher at the end, than they were at the beginning. We’ve had men turn up for the first time, having tried to commit suicide earlier in the week. We have gambling addicts, porn addicts, alcoholics, people who are struggling with their mental health, people who are just lonely - all kinds of people.
I’ve been attending and helping to run the local chapter for a few months now, and it’s become an imperative in my life.
But please understand, I’m not tooting a trumpet here, I use the above to illustrate the fact that I should know better and still get caught in the maelstrom of activity. Before I know it, things have become overwhelming and, if you were to ask me, my number would be on the low side.
Photography, for me, is a number booster. It’s SO good for our mental health (any pursuit which engages the brain and gets you outdoors does this. Maybe not breaking and entering though?) I can grab a camera, jump in my car, and I’m on a hillside or in a woodland within 10 minutes. Once I’m there, I wonder why I didn’t do it sooner. Probably because we get caught up in the busyness of life and life passes by at pace!
But, that said, I DID manage to get away recently. 10 men grabbed their gear and spent the weekend in the Brecon Beacons, in Wales. They call it “Bannau Brycheiniog” I think it’s pronounced "Ban-nigh Bree-khay-nee-og." But listen, if you’re from Wales, speak Welsh naturally, please be patient. I’m just a guy from the Midlands. I can barely speak English half the time!
But, yep, we spent a gorgeous weekend just outside of Abergavenny, hiiiiiigh up on the side of a mountain. We ate all the wrong food, got up late, went to bed late, sat, talked, laughed, cried, discussed important topics, took the p*** out of each other, hugged it out, and did a ton of walking up some VERY steep hills.
It was proper soul food, and I loved it.
You see, it doesn’t take much to reclaim your mental health. Sometimes you can grab the car and go somewhere local, or you can book somewhere rural and get away from it all. Sometimes, though, what you really need is to call up a mate and say something like “Hey buddy, I’m struggling at the moment. Can we talk?” A good mate will be there for you at the drop of a hat. They’ll come round, and just sit in the dirt with you whilst you talk it out, cry it out, or just sit silently and process.
Do you have a mate like that?
I came away from the Beacons refreshed, with a spring in my step, and my emotional tank filled back up. That’s what it’s all about, friends. Recognising when your barometer is showing you the storms, then finding ways to combat them. We’re all different, I know, and everyone processes things differently.
What’s important, though, is that you DO process them, before they nail you. So, let me ask you this:
What’s your number right now?
Don’t try and kid yourself. Seriously, what’s your number right now, as you’re sitting here reading this? If it’s low, it’s low. It is what it is. Recognising it is half the challenge. Now, next question:
What can you do this week to nudge that number up a bit?
Maybe you need to get out on a walk in the woods, or do something creative, or maybe just ring up a mate and tell them you’re struggling and can they listen.
I bet they will!
I hope that helps!
Looks like a great organisation, very positive. The landscape is so important in many ways, something so simple, and has many benifits. I've been listening to a Podcast, Middle man, very relatable and helpful.
Hey Michael, I was intrigued to hear about Talk Club—it sounds like an amazing organization! I wish there were something like that here in the US. I’ve been quite fortunate that my schedule these days gives me ample time to hike in nature daily and work on my photography most days of the week. I’d say my number typically fluctuates between 6 and 8, which is a big improvement compared to the end of last year when it was hovering around 4.